The Power of Negative Blogging

I’ve had a lot of bosses and I’ve been the boss on occasion. It’s not easy if you are or have a bad boss. But how do you know? I mean, c’mon, as a manager, who hasn’t been burned in effigy? Is that really a good barometer? And just because employees say “I hate you, you’re a horrible boss” does it really make it so? (Hint: YES!!) But thanks to Oprah (who’s getting more and more negative thinking on her site, which I’ll take no credit for but if asked I probably will) you now can see what it takes to be a good boss in an article written by Martha Beck. And it’s not all free doughnuts and smiles. Some highlights from CNN.com:

Bad-boss self-concept: As a leader, I’ll be a higher-up.

Good-boss self-concept: As a leader, I’ll have to go lower down.

The bad-boss tales I’ve heard include many stories of managers demanding the undoable, responding to objections by simply reiterating that it had to be done. This creates nothing but hostility.

“If you want to govern the people, you must place yourself below them,” said the philosopher Lao-tzu (who is my favorite management consultant, despite having been dead for centuries).

That doesn’t mean you become a slave to your followers’ whims. Great bosses acknowledge their own ignorance and ask questions of everyone to gain a better grasp of two important things: What’s going on? What needs to be done?

Side note: Asking questions is important. Asking questions for the sake of asking questions isn’t. It just irritates and annoys everyone.

Bad-boss target setting: Now that I’m the boss, I give orders to others.

Good-boss target setting: Now that I’m the boss, I bring order to what others do.

Many people thrill to giving orders or critiques but have unclear, uninformed or ambivalent ideas about what they’re actually trying to accomplish — that is, they know what they want this second, but the big picture is as fuzzy as a winter mink.

Leading well means forming a crystal clear image of what must happen and communicating that precisely. After giving an assignment, ask that person to describe the task in their own words. If they can’t, or if the account they give doesn’t match what you were trying to convey, you need to try a new tack. The first step could be as easy as clarifying your directives — or you might have to rethink your organizational chart and who reports to whom.

Negative thinking applies: Never assume people know what you are talking about. Many people nod and say yes to things when they really have no idea at all. They don’t want to appear ignorant by admitting they don’t understand which is ironic since if they don’t ask you to explain yourself, they become a self-fulfilling prophecy of stupidity.

Bad-boss position on feedback: Now everyone must tell me when I’m right.

Good-boss position on feedback: Now everyone must tell me when I’m wrong.

Most humans go through the world trying to elicit validation. Al Preble, a leadership consultant for Cambridge Leadership Group in Cambridge, Massachusetts, says this isn’t the way to go. The most powerful way for leaders to communicate, he believes, is to use just three simple steps.

When a problem arises:

1. Clearly tell your subordinate what you really think.

2. Describe the facts that led you to this opinion.

3. Ask to be disconfirmed; in other words, honestly request that people tell you where you’re wrong.

Negative thinking applies: As a boss, never, ever, ever ignore suggestions that you may be wrong. That doesn’t mean you assume you are wrong, but you need to be open to other opinions and possibilities you didn’t think of. If you could think of everything, why are all these other people here costing you money in overhead? You can’t do everything yourself.

Bad-boss protection strategy: As a boss, I’ll be protected from taking blame.

Good-boss protection strategy: As a boss, I’ll protect others by taking blame.

The successful bosses I interviewed emphasized that a good leader helps her followers feel safe from the dangers that come from both inside and outside the organization.

An incompetent supervisor, on the other hand, feels that the best way to secure her position is to appear faultless, and works mightily to make clear who fouled up or even to lay blame on a scapegoat. But that behavior turns people into twitchy, record-keeping, blame-tallying masses of ectoplasm.

Negative thinking applies: No one likes to be blamed. This is kind of the point. As a leader we end up doing things we may not like to do but what is best for everyone. Blame can be good in one aspect, it does identify the problem, but if it causes stress and even more problems because of the stress, we, as leaders need to jump on the blame grenade sometime.

Bad-boss problem solving: Being the boss means I can avoid problems.

Good-boss problem solving: Being the boss means I must seek out problems.

You can tell if you’re making mistakes as a leader because things go wrong — not just one catastrophic computer snafu but repeated errors. Bad bosses turn away from these realities. They don’t discuss problems; they just hunker down and hope the issue will go away. It won’t. Untreated, a minor concern becomes a major issue becomes a catastrophe.

This is the core of good leadership, whether you’re managing a corporation, your immediate family, or just your own life.

Lao-tzu puts it this way: “When [the Master] runs into a difficulty, she stops and gives herself to it. She doesn’t cling to her own comfort; thus problems are no problem for her.”

Embracing the fact that you’ll encounter many obstacles — and that this is all right — allows you to understand, listen, give clear instructions, invite negative feedback, and protect those you lead. You’ll be comfortable with leadership, even when it’s uncomfortable. And that will make you an easy act to follow.

And so Oprah has finally embraced (unknowingly) Negative Thinking! YAY OPRAH!