Sometime yesterday morning the blog hit 20,000 views. Thanks for your continued readership. I’ve been lax in my postings, but I’ll try my best to keep a daily commentary if I can.
But on to today’s topic:
One of the things I’ve learned researching Generation Y and how they’ve come to be who they are is the fact the judicial system seems to be geared toward the wealthy. If you have the money, honey, you get no time. And our kids grow up seeing this. If you have the money to get the dream team, you can buy your way out of trouble.
O.J. Simpson was acquitted for the murder of 2 people. It seemed to many that he got away with it. In fact, he’s promised to find the actual killers and for the past decade has scoured every golf course in Florida looking for them.
Robert Blake was found not guilty for the murder of his wife. Again, the evidence seemed to against Berretta, but an expert law team got him off.
Michael Jackson has settled out of court with enough families that it seems something is awry.
Mel Gibson was arrested for a DUI, made headlines for some nasty remarks and the incident disappeared after he went to some anti-Semitic rehab. What does that entail? 20 days in a synagogue and you come wearing a yarmulke and saying “shalom”?
Never mind R. Kelly!
Regardless of the examples true innocence or guilt, a pattern emerges. Rich people get away with crimes that poor people couldn’t. And this generation understands that. So they feel they can push boundaries, especially if they are rich. Because mom and dad have enough money to make their horrible mistakes go away. This erodes accountability. Are all kids like this? Of course not, but a large enough segment of this generation feel this way that it is an issue.
Even when they are punished and punished fairly, they put themselves in the “victim” role. Look at Hulk Hogan’s kid, Nick. Nick caused an accident while racing another car and somehow, despite being in control of the vehicle, God caused the horrible injuries to his friend, a passenger in the car, because he was a “negative person”. A direct quote from an eloquent statement from a man named “Hulk”. This blame deflection is not uncommon and parents’ reinforcing this attitude certainly doesn’t help.
We need to teach kids about accountability. Society as a whole has let these kids down. It’s not their fault they’ve learned these lessons. They’ve just seen how the system works and have adapted accordingly. Consequences and accountability need to be taught early and often. We need to let them know if they cause a problem, there are consequences for bad behavior and thoughtless accidents.
Now get off my lawn!
August 7, 2008 at 4:55 pm |
Hi Craig-
As a parenting expert, I grapple with helping Moms and Dads allow their children to become more self reliant and more accountable often. In fact, one of the magazines I write for is having me write a 4-month series on self reliance (i.e. doing their own laundry, tying their own shoes, managing own money, for example, http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/2008/03/27/teaching-children-how-to-manage-money-5-tips-for-savvy-parents/ and http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/self-reliance-10-parts-of-teaching-your-children-how-to-do-the-laundry/ etc)
It’s a struggle since parents are so used to doing things for their children from the time they are babies and are unsure when to let go. They also perceive it to be bigger, better, quicker, and easier if they simply do it for them. There are other reasons as well that may interest you:
http://powerfulwords.wordpress.com/2008/03/03/helicopter-parents-volume-1-why-are-these-parents-so-overprotective/
Of course, they’re robbing their children of the opportunity to build self confidence and may even instill dependence and self doubt in otherwise healthy children. Their intentions are often good but the outcome, well, not so much. What’s strange is that there have been studies that actually show helicopter parenting can be good:
http://drrobyn.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/helicopter-parents-helpful-or-harmful/
But I certainly think there is a line– a big one– between being supportive and being overprotective, don’t you think?
Dr. Robyn Silverman
Dr. Silverman,
Thanks for taking the time to comment on my blog and post such great resources.
I absolutely agree with you and have posted several posts about “helicopter parents” here:
http://thepowerofnegativeblogging.com/2007/09/11/child-protective-disservices/
http://thepowerofnegativeblogging.com/2008/03/20/thank-you-for-driving-good-teachers-away/
http://thepowerofnegativeblogging.com/2008/06/13/monster-parents-are-on-the-loose-in-japan/
I think parents need that balance but it seems to be outside the norm to allow your kids to fail as a vital life learning lesson. It’s not only important that kids learn from failure but how to fail properly too. You don’t always win at life and how you react to failure shows your true character, not how you react to success.
Please feel free to comment more, a professional’s opinion is always appreciated.