Let’s open our faux mailbag and see what is drawing people to the blog:
can monkeys rip your face off: As Whitney Houston would say: “Hells to the yes!”. Monkeys and chimps especially are notorious for ripping off body parts. Just look what happened to this guy! So yeah, they’ll rip your face off as well as other things!
never heckle a monkey – As a former professional comedian who played gigs in the worst drunken hell-holes across this country, heckling is not as funny as you think it might be. In fact, YOU are not as funny as you think you might be after a couple drinks. So don’t heckle anyone. But never heckle a monkey…see previous answer to know why.
you are being extremely negative craig – I am. It pays the bills, avoids problems, keeps me sane and at times, keeps me out of trouble.
pure as the driven soot – I have no idea where this came from. I guess it’s kind of clever in a “this makes no sense so it must be my stupidity not yours” kind of way.
where are craig price parents – That is a good question. They’re hiding in the woods of New Hampshire like Shakers. On occasion, you might see them pop out from a snow drift, but before you get a good look at them. POOF their gone. Yes… my parents are bigfoots or bigfeet, whichever is the plural for Sasquatches.
gifted child no longer gifted – If your child is no longer gifted, were they ever truly gifted? Probably not. Look at it this way: if you no longer think your child is gifted, your expectations were too high to begin with.
