I’ve been trying to explain for years that some of the self-help “positive thinking” is both unrealistic and not very help full.  TIME magazine (yes that TIME) published this article that show that telling yourself something you don’t believe in (which is what a lot of the hokey “self-help” bullshistic medicine is…hard to believe) actually will highlight the problems more than relive them:

In the past 50 years, people with mental problems have spent untold millions of hours in therapists’ offices, and millions more reading self-help books, trying to turn negative thoughts like “I never do anything right” into positive ones like “I can succeed.” For many people — including well-educated, highly trained therapists, for whom “cognitive restructuring” is a central goal — the very definition of psychotherapy is the process of changing self-defeating attitudes into constructive ones.

But was Norman Vincent Peale right? Is there power in positive thinking? A study just published in the journal Psychological Science says trying to get people to think more positively can actually have the opposite effect: it can simply highlight how unhappy they are.

The study’s authors, Joanne Wood and John Lee of the University of Waterloo and Elaine Perunovic of the University of New Brunswick, begin with a common-sense proposition: when people hear something they don’t believe, they are not only often skeptical but adhere even more strongly to their original position. A great deal of psychological research has shown this, but you need look no further than any late-night bar debate you’ve had with friends: when someone asserts that Sarah Palin is brilliant, or that the Yankees are the best team in baseball, or that Michael Jackson was not a freak, others not only argue the opposing position, but do so with more conviction than they actually hold. We are an argumentative species.

And so we constantly argue with ourselves. Many of us are reluctant to revise our self-judgment, especially for the better. In 1994, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology published a paper showing that when people get feedback that they believe is overly positive, they actually feel worse, not better. If you try to tell your dim friend that he has the potential of an Einstein, he won’t think he’s any smarter; he will probably just disbelieve your contradictory theory, hew more closely to his own self-assessment and, in the end, feel even dumber. In one fascinating 1990s experiment demonstrating this effect — called cognitive dissonance in official terms — a team including psychologist Joel Cooper of Princeton asked participants to write hard-hearted essays opposing funding for the disabled. When these participants were later told they were compassionate, they felt even worse about what they had written.

For the new paper, Wood, Lee and Perunovic measured 68 students on their self-esteem. The students were then asked to write down their thoughts and feelings for four minutes. Every 15 seconds during those four minutes, one randomly assigned group of the students heard a bell. When they heard it, they were supposed to tell themselves, “I am a lovable person.”

Those with low self-esteem — precisely the kind of people who do not respond well to positive feedback but tend to read self-help books or attend therapy sessions encouraging positive thinking — didn’t feel better after those 16 bursts of self-affirmation. In fact, their self-evaluations and moods were significantly more negative than those of the people not asked to remind themselves of their lovability.

This effect can also occur when experiments are more open-ended. The authors cite a 1991 study in which participants were asked to recall either six or 12 examples of instances when they behaved assertively. “Paradoxically,” the authors write, “those in the 12-example condition rated themselves as less assertive than did those in the six-example condition. Participants apparently inferred from their difficulty retrieving 12 examples that they must not be very assertive after all.”

Wood, Lee and Perunovic conclude that unfavorable thoughts about ourselves intrude very easily, especially among those of us with low self-esteem — so easily and so persistently that even when a positive alternative is presented, it just underlines how awful we believe we are.

The paper provides support for newer forms of psychotherapy that urge people to accept their negative thoughts and feelings rather than try to reject and fight them. In the fighting, we not only often fail but can also make things worse. Mindfulness and meditation techniques, in contrast, can teach people to put their shortcomings into a larger, more realistic perspective. Call it the power of negative thinking.

I believe I do in my presentation “Getting a Grip on Negativity“.

You can find information on training programs as well as articles I’ve written on negative thinking at  www.speakercraigprice.com

With all the celebrities dropping like flies, rumors of other celebrities kicking the bucket are running rampant. CNN even had an article on it today:

After a string of real celebrity deaths last week, the Internet and online social networks killed a few more stars.

Despite what you may have read, Jeff Goldblum, Natalie Portman, George Clooney, Britney Spears, Harrison Ford and Rick Astley are alive.

It brought up a negative thinking point I like to tell people all the time especially when the media is involved: You don’t have to believe everything you hear!!

Too often, rumors are spreads as quickly as an STD on the “Rock of Love“.  Just remember to use the 3 L’s:

Listen – It’s always good to hear what information is floating around out there. You don’t want to be on the outside looking in when something important goes down. At work, in your life, surprises can be fun or traumatic. If you can get hints or outright concrete evidence of something bad about to happen before it does, how helpful would that be?

Look Up – Once you hear something, you need to verify it. Multiple sources, independant verification, all things journalists are supposed to do before going to print, you should do as well before you believe it.

Learn – You can learn who is a valuable resource and who is not from the person spreading the rumors. If your friend Dave is always wrong about every rumor he spreads, you know he’s not someone to be routinely believed. If your buddy, Mark is always on the button about future events, when you hear something, he might be a great resource to verify info with.

But too many people are like Stephen Colbert (just not as funny) when it comes to rumors and they take everything as the truth, verifying be damned:

I’m a big fan of the police.

One of my closest childhood friend’s dad was a police chief. I worked with the NH State Police for a few years and learned that they are a great example of how negative thinking can be applied for positive results. They never assume innocence, they are usually suspicious and often hard to convince. Which comes in handy when dealing with sneaky, underhanded criminal types that often lie.

But the Houston cops made a wee bit of a mistake this morning because they assumed. They assumed the house they surrounded had a suspect in it. In fact…it was empty. From the Houston Chronicle:

Police SWAT officers spent more than three hours outside a northeast Houston home in which a homicide suspect was thought to be inside, but a search turned up no one.

The standoff began about 9:30 p.m. Sunday when police tried to serve an arrest warrant after police were alerted that the man, Francisco Lopez, 45, had locked himself in the home in the 8800 block of Chatwood.

SWAT was called about 3 a.m. and officers went into the house shortly after dawn. No one was found in the living area or the attic.

There never was any contact with anyone inside even though police said they saw movement overnight.

Lopez is wanted in connection with the slaying of his niece’s husband last Thursday, police said. Another man was wounded in the attack.

Neighbor Rick Garcia, 45, said he woke early this morning to police loudspeakers asking Lopez to surrender, or at least contact them by phone. He said Lopez, a drywall hanger and painter who has a wife and three children, has been a good neighbor and family man.

Lopez’s nieces and nephews and other family members often visit, and he hadn’t noticed an trouble signs recently, Garcia said.

DOH!!

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One of the tenants of negative thinking is thinking about possible outcomes. Not dwelling on horrible or bad outcomes, but understanding possibilities so you can avoid bad situations. And that is why I have no sympathy for Joe Buck when his guest Artie Lange acted like a foul-mouthed abusive idiot. That’s Artie Lange!! You know when you get Artie on as a guest, he’s going to swear, and he’s going to say outlandish things to shock. Joe and his people were well aware of Artie’s reputation and if they didn’t, they are horrible at their jobs.

Not sure what I’m talking about? From USAToday:

It was train wreck TV Monday night as comedian Artie Lange of The Howard Stern Show took over the maiden taping of HBO’s new show, Joe Buck Live.

Lange unleashed a barrage of obscene and homophobic jokes about Buck and Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, while calling singer Jessica Simpson a “fat chick” who resembles the late Saturday Night Live comic Chris Farley.

At the end of the live taping in Manhattan, Buck thanked Lange for putting an end to his show after one episode. Fellow guest Michael Irvin grabbed the microphone and joked: “It’s refreshing to see white-on white crime.”

The show is sure to draw comparisons to author Buzz Bissinger’s tirade against bloggers during a live episode of Costas Now last year.

Buck told USA TODAY he couldn’t wait for the Lange segment to end. “I thought that spending time on a treadmill felt long. That was like 8 or 9 minutes that turned into an eternity. You know, it’s cable, you can get away with it. It’s not my style. But, you do one show and you learn and you move on.”

At least Joe is going to use negative thinking in the future by learning from his mistakes.

Joe, since we’re close personal friends…next guest you have doubts about, call me. I’ll let you know if you should put them on or not. Free of charge. My gift to you.